November 2016 – Grief

Yesterday morning I received the Power Path newsletter that I like to read each month in my inbox. The theme of that newsletter was Forgiveness.

My initial feeling was that I don’t feel that I have a need for forgiveness – I don’t think I’m holding too many grudges. But as I read the newsletter, I realised how much I need to forgive myself – and I also realised that this is probably something most of us need.

We are now fully in the season of Metal, and the emotion connected with Metal is grief. Metal in balance allows grief to unfold so that forgiveness and letting go can happen.

Yorkshire Fog - Holcus lanathus

In other words, in order to let go, or forgive, we first need to grieve. Acknowledgement of the grief we hold is the first step to letting go and moving through.

Traditionally, we think of grieving as something we do when we lose someone or something tangible and big – the death of a loved one, divorce, losing a job or a friend…. But there are many small griefs in life on a daily basis.

When your response to yourself is something like, “don’t be silly – it’s only a …..” then you are denying yourself that small grief. Better to allow the feeling, acknowledge it, bow to it, feel compassion towards it and then own it as a valuable part of your journey through life.

“the continued habit of pushing grief away does not really abolish it; it only creates a monster inside us that drains our energy and dampens all our emotions.” Gail Reichstein

Metal represents the ridding of that which is superfluous – guilt, grief, anger, self-recrimination. These emotions all pull down our energy and stop us from loving the world we’re in.

Meadow Rue FBAnd yet, if we’re angry for a reason, then Metal refines that anger, boils it down to its core. What are we angry about? If we can distill it down, we can see the essence of what needs to be dealt with so that we can move forward and do it. If we have been wronged, we need to be clear about the best course of action.

We can use our judgement to wield the sword of Metal to eliminate confusion and chaos. Remove all that we no longer need. Chop it away. We have to go inside to do this work. Metal is the beginning of the rise of the yin energy in the cycle, and yin represents the move to inner contemplation of self.

But the very judgement that can bring justice and necessary pruning can also be hurtful to our innermost being or to those around us. Decisive and judicious cutting away of that which is no longer necessary is not the same as slashing away at things and condemning and punishing ourselves and others for our perceived weaknesses.

Suggested things to do:

  • pink-peoniesTake warm baths and pamper yourself to boost your Supplementary Fire (Heart) energy so that you remember to be kind to yourself.
  • Eat grounding and earthing foods, plus foods that balance Metal – such as onions and cauliflower.
  • Take essences for clarity and try working with crystals this month.
  • Continue to cleanse and clear.

So this is a month for allowing grief to arise in order to allow forgiveness to follow.

If you’re finding this difficult, then cleansing, as suggested in last month’s newsletter, might help to allow some space.

There’s no hurry, even though the pressures of life may make it feel that way. We are as we are in this moment, and there’s true beauty in that.

Essences to help:

Yorkshire Fog – to release held back grief.

Meadow Rue – for discernment and clarity.

Blue Pimpernel – Helps us to re-discover the true nature of our being without being dominated by other peoples’ opinions. An essence of self-revelation.

Indian Balsam – Brings quietness and peace to an overactive and disturbed mind.

Yorkshire Fog Meadow Rue Blue Pimpernel Indian Balsam